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EXCLUSIVE: Joe Marler's rare insight into life with 4 kids after cutting ties with own parents

Retired rugby player and Celebrity Traitors star Joe Marler on what it means to be a man in 2026, and why it's crucial for men to tell each other they love each other

[Rugby star Joe Marler says: So what does it mean to be a man? Being kind, being gentle, showing strength and vulnerability."]

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Rugby star Joe Marler says: So what does it mean to be a man? Being kind, being gentle, showing strength and vulnerability."(Image: BBC)

Joe Marler is still figuring out what it means to be a man in 2026. But the former England rugby union player and Celebrity Traitors star is clear on what it is not. I know for certain that some things and some people out there are not what it is to be a man in this day and age, says Joe, 35, who played as a prop for Premiership Rugby club Harlequins. You do not look at videos of Andrew Tate and HS Ticky Tokky (Harrison Sullivan), and think, Oh hes a man, hes telling me I should treat women like this. No no no son. That is not a man, that is a scumbag - avoid them like the plague. Controversial online figures, both social media influencers have come under fire for their toxic and misogynistic manosphere views.

Sitting down for a chat with the Mirror, Joe continues: So what does it mean to be a man? Being kind, being gentle, showing strength and vulnerability, knowing that vulnerability isnt weakness. Im still trying to work it out, and as long as youre open to admitting that, I think its a good place to start. And while I'm still trying to learn what it is to be a man in 2026, I'm supporting my boys. Father of four Joe shares children Jasper, 12, Maggie, nine, Felix, six, and Pixie, four, with his wife Daisy. The couple met at school, growing up in Heathfield, East Sussex, married in 2017 and now live in Sussex.

He is part of a new campaign with beer brand Beavertown and mens mental health charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), whose research has revealed that six in 10 men have never told their best friend that they love them. What is the point of having friends and family if youre not going to tell them that you love them? asks Joe, who presents the popular Joe Marler Will See You Now podcast.

[Joe Marler of Harlequins acknowledges the fans with family after their sides victory during the Gallagher Premiership Rugby match between Harlequins and Gloucester Rugby at Twickenham Stoop on May 21, 2022]

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Joe Marler of Harlequins acknowledges the fans with family after their sides victory during the Gallagher Premiership Rugby match between Harlequins and Gloucester Rugby at Twickenham Stoop on May 21, 2022(Image: Getty Images)

[Joe and family]

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Joe and family

Weve seen it as being soft or weak or feminine to say, as a man, that you love your friends. We need to do it more, and normalise it. Its a lovely way of starting a conversation, and a great way of breaking the ice - it makes people feel good. I tell my children I love them all the time. Sometimes they don't say it back, sometimes when theyre in a tantrum theyll say I hate you - thats part of being a parent. But I think its particularly important with my two boys. Men for as long as I can remember have not told other men how much they love each other.

When asked about his relationship with his own father, he politely declines to answer. I dont have any contact with my family, he says, before gently asking to move the conversation on. Putting pen to paper, 2020 saw the release of Joes book, Loose Head: Confessions of an (Un)Professional Rugby Player. And in November 2024, Joe retired from professional rugby after a 17-year-long career which saw him earn 95 caps for England.

On the day that I retired, I thought, well where is my pipe and slippers? Surely when you retire someone is meant to hand them to you. Retiring from professional sport should be renamed to either unemployment or career change, quips Joe, well known for his sharp wit and sense of humour. "You know the career officer you have at school, thats sort of what happens when you retire from rugby. You think, what do I do for the next 40 or 50 years if I'm lucky?

[Joe Marler in 2024]

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Joe Marler in 2024(Image: PA)

Its getting better with different support that is out there now. And you do get to plan a bit in the years before it happens. But its very rare that as a player you get to retire on your own terms, and so I feel very lucky that I got to do that - it wasnt forced through injury or anything like that. Id had a good innings, my time was up. I wasn't enjoying it anymore, I was flogging a dead horse.

And I won't lie, the last 14 months have been a bit of a rocky road. As much as the Traitors was incredible and I've been busy off the back of it, I haven't had a lot of time to sit down and think this is what I'm going to do for the next 40 years. Luckily I've got a good support network around me to help navigate that road.

Joe, who has 1m followers on Instagram, credits his wife Daisy with being his rock, and has said he probably wouldnt be sitting here now if it wasnt for her support through his mental health struggles. I had a breakdown in 2016, and then again in 2018 - the lowest of the lows, Joe adds.

[Joe Marler loved doing the missions on Celebrity Traitors]

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Joe Marler loved doing the missions on Celebrity Traitors(Image: BBC)

Im not perfect, I make mistakes all the time. But my family is everything to me. My wife is incredible. He continues: Me and my 12-year-old son are going through it a little bit at the moment because were quite similar, and she told me the other day, Neither of you have done this before. This is the first time youre trying to be a dad to a 12 year old whose hormones are rushing all through him. And this is the first time hes experienced being a 12 year old at secondary school. Give each other a break. I was like yeah, youre pretty special - Im glad Ive got you.

With more time on his hands, Joe - who started an OnlyFans for his feet in 2023 - plans to learn to swim to keep up with his children on family holidays. I go cold water dipping - it really helps with my mental health. Its one of the things that genuinely works for me. But I can't swim, so I don't ever go too deep. It should be on my bucket list - I need to learn how to swim for my kids. Every time we go on holiday Im like Woah not too far into the deep end - and its not for them, its for me!

Joe appeared on BBCs inaugural The Celebrity Traitors in October 2025, reaching the final but losing out to shock winner Alan Carr. "I absolutely love the show. I was able to watch it back as a fan and dissociate from being in it, because I hadn't seen a lot of what went on. I was seeing it for the first time as well. It was so much fun to do and I still pinch myself and think, how the hell did I manage that? A, how do I get on the celebrity version? And B how did I get to the bloody final?

[Joe Marler and family]

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Joe Marler and family(Image: Getty Images)

He loved the missions. For someone that generally fast forwards all the missions when I'm watching it - sorry Claudia!- they were so fun to do. Although everyone else royally left me hanging when it was time to push a two tonne horse up a hill. Stephen Fry was there as if he was walking his dog.

Joe made some friends for life. Any time spent in Joe Wilkinsons company was great fun, he just makes me die with everything he says and does. We got on really well, says Joe, who says even he was star struck by some of the big names on the show. I was in a privileged position to get to know these massive names - Stephen Fry, Celia Imrie - on a bit more of a human, normal level, away from them always getting pestered by everyone out in the public. I actually got to have lunch with them and talk normally, about random, often dull and mundane stuff - the weathers alright isn't it?

Another highlight was the food. Every meal was just fantastic, and the 8kg I ended up putting on over the three weeks says enough doesn't it? laughs Joe. But it surprised me how emotionally intense it is. I remember watching the show and thinking why is that person crying after three days about voting this person off, or this person leaving. Why are they shouting and screaming at each other? You get in there and you think, I get it now - this is intense. Its like a social experiment x 100, disguised as a game.

[Joe in 2017]

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Joe in 2017(Image: Getty Images for Harlequins)

When it comes to more reality TV however, he is hesitant. I loved The Traitors, and I guess youd call it reality TV, but for me it was more like a game to be part of. The idea of doing Strictly (Joe comically shudders) - I cant dance, Id never be able to dance, I'd be dreadful.

Then Im A Celeb - Im claustrophobic and I really like food. Maybe if I balloon in weight too much, Ill get on the phone to ITV. Never say never. I like doing fun things and experiencing different things, but I wouldnt say its at the top of my list Celebrity Naked Attraction however now youre talking. If they ever come knocking, sign me up.

*This campaign marks the third year of collaboration between Beavertown and Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), continuing a shared mission to challenge stigma and encourage open conversations about mental health. Tell a Mate Why You Love Them was developed by Beavertown and CALM, produced by Strongwatch, and brought to life through activation by creative PR agency Here Be Dragons, with all partners working to help more men open up to friends and support one another across the UK.

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