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EXCLUSIVE: I stayed in the new ice hotel - it's not the cold that some guests can't handle

For the past 36 years, architects, engineers and all sorts of artists have descended on the tiny Swedish town on the outskirts of Kiruna to construct the latest iteration of the ICEHOTEL

[Milo with an ice glass ]

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The ICEHOTEL is full of surprises

It's not the cold that gets you first. It's the quiet.

For some of the guests to the ICEHOTEL in the Arctic town of Jukkasjrvi, it isn't the -5C bedroom temperature that causes them to abandon their 600 ice bed in the middle of the night and make for the hard wooden slats of the mercifully heated changing rooms, but the oppressive, complete silence that comes with being in a room constructed entirely snow packed onto ice foundations.

"If you didn't know you had tinnitus before, you certainly will once you spend a night in here," explained guide Glen as he gestured into our icy room for the night.

Poking out from around the doorway was another unnerving element: an adult-sized ice baby.

For the past 36 years, architects, engineers and all sorts of artists have descended on the tiny Swedish town on the outskirts of Kiruna to construct the latest iteration of the ice hotel. The building process begins when massive blocks of ice are harvested from the Torne River. Each block weighs up to two tonnes and is stored cold during the summer, ready for the winter and the construction of the ICEHOTEL in October. They are not there to build uniform, utilitarian ice rooms, however. Instead, they construct something between the fictional ice palace in James Bond's Die Another Day and a fairground house of fun.

[Milo in the archive ]

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In Arctic Archive, the work of Kristina Mckel and Sebastian Scheller, each wall is made of rows of shelves filled with hundreds of snow books

[The ice lizard]

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One room has a large ice lizard

[I took on iconic 18-hour EU train ride and can sum up the whole experience in one word]

OPINION

My wife and I were to sleep in one of 12 art suites, ours titled 'There is no one here' and created by Turkish artists Ayla Turan and Kemal Tufan. Five round-faced, jellybaby-like figures were in there with us, one standing guard at the door, another popping its head over the bedstead. A third seemed stuck in the wall, as if splinched by a Harry Potter apparition gone wrong.

Before bedding down for the night, guests have a chance to visit the other 11 art suitesthat is, before they are shuttered up in April and left to quietly melt into the river beyond. A particularly striking creation is 'Arctic Archive', the work of Kristina Mckel and Sebastian Scheller. Each wall is made of rows of shelves filled with hundreds of snow books.

Carl and Malena Wellander's 'Survival of the Fittest' lets guests sleep alongside some of the toughest creatures on the planet: tardigrades. These unusual little "moss piglets" can survive in any habitat on Earth, in space and, it seems, the ICEHOTEL.

What's less certain is whether Robin Lind and Charlie Hammarlund's Crystal Souls are evil or benevolent figures. The two blurry, Dr Who-like characters are trapped behind an ice block, seemingly desperate to get through.

[Milo in front of the ice hotel sign]

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The hotel's 36 iteration recently opened

There are several ice hotels in the world, but the ICEHOTEL is the first and biggest. Its life began in 1989 when Yngve Bergqvist, who had built an art gallery from ice and snow in his garden, opened its frozen door to Swedish soldiers who needed a place to stay. He woke in the morning in a panic. The temperature had plummeted deep into the -20Cs overnight, and Yngve was convinced he'd killed the troops. He rushed out to the gallery to find them happily making breakfast, having survived the night in their thick Arctic sleeping bags.

[Milo playing the piano]

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Guests can even have a tinkle on the ice piano

Since then, the ICEHOTEL has let thousands of guests do the same. In truth, when tucked up inside a winter duvet-thick sleeping bag, atop reindeer furs, the only real difficulty I had was keeping my snorkel-like nose warm as it peeked out of the bedding folds.

There are several reasons why the hotel is where it is: the proximity of the river and the climate, of course, but also Kiruna, where the vast iron ore mine has delivered untold wealth, an international airport and engineering expertise. Yngve himself spent five years down the mines before turning his skills to hospitality.

It is truly a marvel, both creatively and technically. Using 1,000 tonnes of ice and 30,000 tonnes of snow-ice mixture, the structure is built using steel moulds, snow cannons and huge, perfectly clear blocks.

[One of the ice rooms]

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The ice hotel is sat in Jukkasjrvi, close to Kiruna

On the other side of the courtyard from the art suites is the year-round 365 Hotel, which uses cooling techniques to keep the ice from melting even in the height of Arctic summer, which, in fairness, did once reach 24C.

The less transient nature of this part of the hotel has given its creators licence to go bigger. Guests first walk into the bar, where a spiral staircase (made of ice) leads up to an elevated seating area (also made of ice), where you can enjoy a cocktail in a glass (also, ice). Once used, these are tossed into the river from whence they came.

Having donned an extra pair of socks after a foot-numbing tour, I shared a drink with a couple from Leicester who'd spent three days husky sledging, ice fishing and reindeer spotting on a blowout 50th birthday anniversary trip. And blowout it was.

[Another of the rooms]

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Ice rooms in the ICEHOTEL cost from 320 a night

The one hesitation I have about this undeniably magical place is the price point. The cost for an ice room for the night is 4000 SEK (320) for two, with breakfast included. In itself, not a bad price at all. But once the flight to Kiruna via Stockholm, or the 16-hour night train, is factored in, along with the frankly eye-watering 150pp cost of a fairly average dinner at the ICEHOTEL restaurant, there might not be much left over for excursions. And there has to be given the 400 cost of a private sauna ritual and 800 private transfer to the airport via husky sledge.

But really, no one was in the mood for griping about a few krona or re once ensconced in this ice palace. I suspected it'd be a magnificent place before I arrived, but I what I didn't realise is that it'd be so funny. From my creepy ice baby guard and lounging otter statue to the ice slide that directs tipsy guests back to their room, the ICEHOTEL is packed with witty and unexpected surprises.

Book it

The cost of staying at ICEHOTEL varies depending on the type of room, time of year, and package selected. To sleep in a room made of ice and snow costs from 4000 SEK per night (2 people, B&B). Go to www.icehotel.com

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