• [Dailystar Icon]
• Love & Sex
• Marriage

'Big lie husband told before we got married is making me totally miserable'

A 30-year-old woman has said she's 'miserable' in her marriage after her husband misled her about his one habit before they wed, leaving her feeling betrayed and trapped

[Females couple with relationship difficulties]

Her marriage is making her miserable (stock image)(Image: Maria Korneeva via Getty Images)

Many people tell little white lies to their partner. However, one woman has confessed her marriage is leaving her 'miserable' due to a lie her husband told before they tied the knot. The 30-year old woman has been wed to her husband, 32, for two years. She disclosed that during their courtship, she made clear she had numerous boundaries regarding values one being that she was 5 years sober, and refused to be with someone who consumes alcohol.

Posting her story on Reddit's r/relationships forum, she wrote: "Background: my dad was an alcoholic my whole life. I became an alcoholic in my teens.

"My ex-husband was an alcoholic, abusive, and hid his addiction from me after promising to stop. All of this formed my decision to simply not want to be around alcohol."

She continued: "I made a fatal mistake I believe, as my now husband assured me he almost never drinks and he'll have a beer once in a blue moon. I took him at face value because he said he just doesn't drink anymore, it's not his thing.

"Because we were spiritually compatible as well as from a health stand point I did believe he just was not a fan of alcohol anymore but simply didn't want to label himself 'sober'."

Nevertheless, the woman revealed that the week after they got married her husband drank a bit too much and she said she wasn't comfortable with that amount of beer.

"Within a year he was buying packs of beer and drinking at home or when out alone with me," she wrote. "He wouldn't go out for dinner or attend any gathering without having a beer or two. Granted he wasn't getting drunk, but I was very hurt and upset and told him many times how misled I felt."

Eventually the woman's husband agreed not to drink around her. although he did say he would just hide it from her sometimes at family events and have a drink in the garage so 'it wouldn't be in front of her', which she said she wasn't okay with.

The woman continued: "Eventually, her husband agreed not to drink in her presence, although he did admit that he would sometimes sneak off to have a drink in the garage at family events so 'it wouldn't be in front of her', which she said she wasn't okay with.

"Now he will have a few beers every time he gets together with friends. Which at first was once a month or so, but lately has been up to multiple times a week.

"I'm hurt, I feel lied to, and I simply wouldn't have agreed to start a romantic relationship with someone who drank alcohol every time they did anything social. I made it clear how important that was. I wouldn't have married someone who needs to have a minimum of two beers at every. Single. Social. Function.

"He's telling me I'm controlling and need to deal with it. I feel as though this is complete incompatibility. I married him and don't believe in divorce, yet I know I will never be okay with it considering what alcohol has done to my life.

"I should have never entered a relationship knowing I needed someone who was sober and he never did say he was sober. Do I just accept this and be miserable for the rest of my life?"

One individual commented: "He's not going to change, so you have to [divorce him]. Either accept him or alter your marital status. I'd personally opt for the latter. You were deceived and should prioritise your own wellbeing."

Another chimed in: "I know you don't believe in divorce, but separation might be the best course of action as you two are fundamentally incompatible as a couple. He deliberately lied by omission and kept you in the dark. He poses a risk to your sobriety. What else could he potentially lie about?"

A third concurred: "You only married him because he deceived you and concealed his drinking habits. Divorce seems entirely justified under these circumstances."

Whilst a fourth remarked: "So you believed in divorce with your ex-husband, but now it's a spiritual matter. I'm not sure I comprehend, what has changed if this relationship is potentially harmful to your health?"

[Dailystar Icon]

ENJOYED THIS STORY?

Choose Daily Star as a 'Preferred Source' on Google News for quick access to the news you value.