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'My husband dressed in stockings and slept with random men but thinks he's the victim'

A wife has decided to leave her husband after 11 years of marriage after discovering he'd been dressing up in stockings and meeting up with men for sex behind her back

[A woman has had enough after discovering her husband had been hooking up with other men]

A woman has had enough (stock)(Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A woman who discovered her husband has been hooking up with other men for sex has slammed his behaviour after he claimed he was the "victim".

After deciding their 11 years of marriage were over as a result of his antics, she claimed on Mumsnet that she is now being made to feel guilty for being the one to call it quits. "I cant leave for a few weeks as the house we are in is his," she said.

"He's promising me the earth, he is avoiding the reason we are splitting up... instead he is focusing on him not being a good husband, so promising a third chance to show how much he loves me and wants to put me first."

Things came to a head four weeks ago after the woman "found out hed hooked up with a guy and my husband was the one wearing stockings". She explained he has since been grovelling to her, promising that "he wont work as much, we can holiday, our relationship is his priority".

She said her hubby claimed just two weeks into their relationship that he lost interest in her "due to his bits not working". She closed her rant: "I am so frustrated that he seems to see himself as the victim as I wont take him up on his offer of a secure future. Seems I am the baddie for deciding we are finally over and he wont give up on us!"

Fellow Mumsnet users were on hand to offer a few home truths, meanwhile. "You haven't had a physical relationship after the first two weeks together and you have been together 11 years?" one woman asked in shock.

Another said: "He married you under false pretences - probably due to a sense of shame but also a desire to have his cake and eat it. He loves you on one level but that level is not a sexual one. It was selfish of him to take the last 11 years from you knowing he could not give you what you need."

After taking in the replies, the woman returned to her post to hint that perhaps her husband needs help. "When I say he is making promises to be the perfect husband and I reply that that wasnt the issue, the issue is him hooking up with random guys, he goes quiet," she said. "But last night he said maybe he needs help?"

However, she added: "I have read the open and honest posts I can see from the outside how it looks. Reality was my husband said he had erectile dysfunction and I foolishly believed him. In hindsight I can see how foolish and stupid I look to you. Feeling the only thing was not to bring his issues up so not to hurt his feelings is what I did."

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