What a wild night on the sunny Essex coast as Nigel Farage won the Clacton by-election with 22,239 votes and a 12,784 majority. Count Binface finished in second after netting a staggering 9,455 votes to leave 32 other deposit-losing candidates firmly in the trash.
Farage shockingly ghosted the declaration, claiming Essex Police warned him of a "credible threat" and an "organised campaign" to embarrass him, adding he refused to be "demeaned" by standing on stage with "nobodies".
However, PA reports that the police force did NOT actually tell him to stay away after the Reform leader chose to celebrate at his own "Farage-Fest" party instead.
Turnout slumped to 44.37 per cent, but everyone's favourite bin-headed space warrior declared himself the winner of anyone "who actually bothered to turn up" after taking over 26 per cent of the vote.
Thanks for sticking with us through the heat, the cop drama and the absolute bin-sanity of it all!