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'I went to Sin City Pattaya with my girlfriend never play Connect 4 with escorts'

There are two golden rules in Pattaya and we only managed to break one of them in the so-called city of sin - but we also met an honest hostess, a T-Rex and Moo Deng

[The streets of Pattaya are certainly an experience]

The streets of Pattaya are certainly an experience(Image: Andrew Gilpin)

It was the elephant in the room in a country where you often find elephants near your room. All through our jaunt around Thailand and Laos, we were asked the same thing by our fellow travellers when we revealed our last destination. Put simply it was: 'why are you going there?'.

Well, while both my partner Karina and I are well-travelled in south-east Asia, there was one place neither of us had even been... Pattaya. Yes, the infamous 'sin' city 92 miles south of Bangkok with a reputation as bad as Prince Andrew.

Well why were we going there? We had our reasons, mostly down to distance, but we soon found out why a lot of men of a certain age were going there. And it wasn't the warm weather and cheap lager.

Pattaya is a busy, bustling city and not without its charm; from custom-made suits to excellent (and cheap) food on every street corner. There are massage parlours that actually give you great massages, so get your brain out of the gutter! and even high-end shopping malls where people could buy three pairs of Adidas trainers if they so wanted. (I so wanted).

[Andy and Karina wind down in southern Laos before the make the jump to Pattaya]

Andy and Karina wind down in southern Laos before the make the jump to Pattaya(Image: Andrew Gilpin)

It has a good beach, a warm sea, and lots of great attractions nearby, from golf courses to shooting ranges. We went to a lovely botanical garden, where they recreated Stonehenge next to a T-rex and a panda waving heartily. We're not sure this is all historically correct, but it was fun anyway.

We also went to see one-time internet sensation Moo Deng in an open zoo where you are categorically encouraged TO feed the animals, except ironically the rampaging monkeys who roam freely.

But people don't go to Pattaya for that, do they?

Let's make no bones about it, there is a seedy side to this fun city. We met a lot of older men with 'girlfriends' in bars, restaurants, by the pool and precariously holding on for dear life on the back of weaving scooters.

[Pattaya has some high-end stuff. Including this mall with an inexplicable Eiffel Tower]

Pattaya has some high-end stuff. Including this mall with an inexplicable Eiffel Tower(Image: Andrew Gilpin)

They are some interesting match-ups, and many want the girlfriend experience over a few days. And everyone is quite open about it.

But there are some other places to get 'quick fix' fun times with ladies.

Some streets like Soi 6 are full of clubs with dubious names from 'Wet p****' to 'Fire' and 'Saigon Girl'. There was even one called 'Small Holes' where scantily-clad ladies dance and clamour outside for you to come in and keep them company.

Some look very young and so yes, there is no doubt Pattaya has a dark side.

We visited one bar and found out how it all worked. In truth, I thought this was a sports bar (the sport on the telly sort of gave it away). It soon became apparent it wasn't.

Firstly, we didn't know where to sit. There were a number of little bar areas with chairs around them, all pointing in one direction. In them were a few girls sitting inside. So we chose one of the bars and turned the chairs round so not to be rude.

Straight away one of the girls came and sat right across from us. Like a few inches away. We ordered two beers but she didn't go away. She asked a few normal questions, where are you from, what have you been doing, etc.

But it got a little awkward. Karina and I wanted to just chat, but she was just, well, there. Close, listening and interested. This is obviously her job to engage, and I imagine a lot of people are glad of the company.

[Sophia playing (and of course winning) while playing Connect 4]

Sophia playing (and of course winning) while playing Connect 4

She said her name was Sophia (probably wasn't her given name) and she moved from Phuket because there was just too much family there. She'd been working at this place for three months.

The conversation got strained and she knew exactly what to say. 'Let's play a game'. And so it began.

I know from previous trips to Thailand that there are two golden rules. Never ring the bell in a bar (you have to buy everyone a drink) and never, ever, ever, EVER play a hooker at Connect 4.

Now, there's no suggestion that Sophia was actually a sex worker. Nothing was ever talked about on that side; she may have been just a hostess, escorting us on our night out. I have lost a lot of Connect 4 games to ladies of the night, and it does happen up and down Thailand, but that's not to say Sophia was involved in that trade.

On to the Connect 4. I played the first game. She beat me within seven counter drops. She knew two moves before the actual end that she'd got me and I could see the smile when she knew I'd lost it way before I actually had.

Karina played with the same result. I played again but went rogue. I decided to make random moves with no strategy. She picked me off in four.

Before it, she asked to play for a drink, and that's how they make their money. Everything comes at a price, whether it's entertainment, sex, companionship or an MB game developed by Howard Wexler and Ned Strongin in 1974. Her drink cost roughly 3.20. Not bad for less than 10 minutes' work.

We played a few more games. One was close, but her pal behind the bar pointed a few moves and Sophia won... again. We drank up and left, tails firmly between our legs

But do you know what, when I gave her the cash she straight away pointed out I'd mistakenly given her 1000 baht instead of 100. She could have easily kept it, but she didn't.

And that was the measure of 'Sophia'. Honesty and brilliance at Connect 4. It's a potent mix.

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