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Janet Ellis is 'open to love' after heartbreaking loss of husband

EXCLUSIVE: Janet Ellis talks about grief and love after her husband's death as she backs 15 Rules, a new guide for people caring for loved ones with cancer

[janet ellis in black and red dress]

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Ellis says the new booklet for carers of cancer sufferers should be 'everywhere'(Image: Getty Images for Costa Book Awards)

Former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis has revealed she is open to finding love again nearly five years after the death of her beloved husband, television producer John Leach, admitting she misses the simple joy of having someone to share everyday life with.

The broadcaster, 70, lost John in 2021 after he was diagnosed with secondary lung cancer but says the love they shared has left her open to finding companionship again, while making clear nobody could ever replace him.

I had a really good teacher in John that two is good, two is great, she tells The Mirror. Somebody who sees you, who makes you laugh, wants to do things with you, but also wants to do nothing with you.

[janet ellis and late husband john]

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Janet and John were married for 32 years(Image: Getty Images)

[The couple with their son Jack in 1987]

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The couple with their son Jack in 1987(Image: dx)

I havent dated anyone for a long time and my dating habits are probably rooted in somebody in their late twenties when I had a slightly different agenda, so I love the idea of someone alongside me, but I dont know how I get there.

She joked that if she has any admirers, theyre keeping themselves very quiet, before adding: If youve been really loved then you are porous and you are available for that because love is huge.

I will always love John and if anyone ever comes into my life, then hes not replaceable. But its a nice idea that there might be someone to do the really tiny stuff.

I am lucky that I have good friends and family close by, but with a partner you have such a lovely spontaneity in the day-to-day. Lets go to the farmers market and all those kind of things. There are a few things Ive done on my own where Ive just thought, No, I dont enjoy this in the way that I should. Id really like to bring someone.

Having lost the love of her life to cancer, Ellis is helping to promote a book called 15 Things, written by her friend Paul Evans after his wife, film producer Melanie Dicks, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The book charts those things he wish hed known beforehand.

As soon as I read the book I thought it needed to be everywhere, its free, its available in the waiting room at the oncologist and supported by Macmillan.

[janet ellis in red and white dress]

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The presenter is open to finding love again, but admits John is 'irreplacable'(Image: Getty Images)

[janet ellis with her kids in the 90s]

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With her children in the 90s (Image: Mirrorpix via Getty Images)

"It includes everything from avoiding too much information, sometimes oncologist will tell you something about your prognosis that you may not want to hear. How you break the news to people and having to navigate the whole cancer journey really.

Johns illness came as a devastating shock to the family. Ellis recalled how his symptoms initially appeared to be nothing more than a persistent sore throat while he was covering the Paralympics, before doctors discovered head and neck cancer.

Johns diagnosis came out of the blue really, she said. Hed had a sore throat, but nothing felt very terrible. He was still working, covering the Paralympics here and Rio, saying, My throat feels a bit dry, but there was air conditioning.

By the time he got back from Rio it had been going on for quite a while. He popped down to the doctors, who gave him antibiotics and said if they didnt work to come straight back. Thats when it began.

Following radiotherapy, the couple believed they had reason to be optimistic. We were told there was an excellent chance it had gone away. Things were going well and wed just got back from a lovely holiday in Japan which was very active.

We went for what we thought was a routine check-up and thats when they said it looked like secondary lung cancer. It was deeply, deeply shocking.

[janet ellis and daughter sophie when former got mbe in 2018]

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Daughter, singer Sophie Ellis-Bextor 'throws herself into life wholeheartedly' and it's a family trait(Image: Getty Images)

John approached his terminal diagnosis with remarkable practicality, Ellis said, ensuring his family were prepared for what lay ahead.

Apart from being my best person, John was very practical and straightforward, and he never wanted to hide his illness from anyone. He guided us so well with dealing with his illness.

Once someone gets a secondary diagnosis, that means theres treatment, but no cure.

Although they both understood where the illness might lead, there was one conversation they never had.

John and I both felt this sense that we knew how this might end and it meant he could get his affairs in order. But we never talked about my life without him. That was a subject that was shut down. Hed just say, I am here, if I ever started to go down that route.

Ellis admitted she still struggles with his absence and says she has never felt guilty for grieving openly. I dont feel guilty when I cry because I loved him very much and nothing will take away the pain of his absence, nothing.

There are things all the time that remind me of him or of us and make me think we were denied the future that we thought we might have. Even when John was ill, I still couldnt imagine him not being in the world.

[sonny and janet ellis]

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Grandson Sonny lives with Janet - but is only 10 minutes from home

She believes people often struggle to know how to support someone living with grief, offering one piece of advice. Dont say, Is there anything I can do? Just say, Can I do anything now? The tiny bits of admin can wear us down.

Despite losing her husband, Ellis has found comfort in family life. Her grandson Sonny now lives with her after daughter Sophie Ellis-Bextor, 47, suggested the arrangement.

After John died, I realised I dont want to be the only one turning the lights on and off. I like the energy of someone else in the house.

Luckily that worked out well. His family home is only 10 minutes down the road, so he can pop between the two and I realise thats a lucky situation to have.

She could hardly be prouder of daughter Sophie, whose career has enjoyed an extraordinary resurgence after Murder on the Dancefloor featured prominently in the hit film Saltburn which came out in 2023.

My daughter Sophie has got great energy and enthusiasm. She throws herself into life wholeheartedly. Shell always have a go.

As a family, weve always believed that you can have a go at something, but you dont have to be the best, you dont have to win or do it forever.

[janet ellis and co-presenters outside with a time capsule on blue peter]

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Ellis became a household name on Blue Peter(Image: BBC)

She added: Her stamina is amazing with five children, and her career is now international. Saltburn opened up success for her in America, which was a market shed never attempted because you can lose your heart and your bank balance trying to do that. But it was lovely that the invitation came to her from across the pond.

Reflecting on her own career, Ellis said she feels nostalgic for her years presenting Blue Peter without believing the past was somehow better.

I am always aware of not being an older person saying to a 21-year-old, Oh it was different in my day, because its not nice to make them feel their world is not worth being in.

When I was on Blue Peter there was only one other channel. It was very, very different, but that isnt to undermine the new generation coming through.

She laughed at the programmes wholesome image, adding: Blue Peter was known for being squeaky clean, but Im not saying I was squeaky clean. Lets just say Im glad there wasnt the paparazzi and social media.

Away from television, Ellis says she could never imagine swapping London for the countryside. I love walking by the Thames with my dog. Ive lived in London a long time and I honestly never get sick of it.

I like people and things. I like options. I like pavements and street lighting and public transport. I am too greedy to confine my life to one field.

She also confessed she remains a lifelong catastrophist, admitting her mind immediately jumps to the worst-case scenario whenever her children fail to answer the phone.

If my kids are ever late calling me back, Ive definitely got them wiped off the planet. John was always the person whod say, Dont be ridiculous, theyre fine.

So I try to hear his voice and the best thing whenever I was really worried about anything, hed often say, Come on, its irrelevant, which is a really useful way of looking at things.

15 Things is the practical guide and support platform for people caring for loved ones with cancer

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