'I told my girlfriend to lose weight now she's bonking a black belt who'd destroy me'

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If you want help, you can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Please note that Jane cannot respond to individual letters and not all problems will be published.

Screaming orgasm

Im convinced my girl is sleeping with a personal trainer from her gym. The other night she said she was going out with friends. She didnt get home until 4am. I rang her pals and none of them would tell me where she was. In the end she staggered in muttering something about losing her handbag in a nightclub. Mmmm

A few times recently weve had sex and Im convinced she muttered his name at the point of orgasm.

Im not a happy bunny but fear this is all my fault.

I was the one who encouraged her to join a gym and get fit. I was the one who complained about her putting on weight. Today shes fit and gorgeous and totally obsessed with her mentor. She goes to this guys classes at our local health centre three times a week. In between they go running together plus they swim and work out too. Im left at home like a spare part and feel lonely and resentful yet this is all my fault.

Now this young hunk is all she ever talks about and I fear our relationship is in jeopardy. She gushes about how many miles theyve done; how amazing she feels and how pleased he is with her. I hate it; because I know that she fancies the pants of him and suspects she fantasises about him all the time.

If they are sleeping together too, then I dont know what Ill do. Im such an idiot.

Sometimes I feel tempted to go up to that leisure centre and sort him out. The only problem is that hes a fit bloke, who is a black belt in Karate. Im secretly frightened that he might knock my block off. My girl says Im crazy for feeling suspicious, but wouldnt you feel insecure and left behind under similar circumstances?

JANE SAYS: Tell your partner that you need to reset. Youre unhappy and shes hardly at home. What is going on? You cant sit back and do nothing, but confronting this guy isnt the answer.

Dont put yourself into any situation that could end in violence or regret. If your partner is looking fit and healthy and has never felt better, then get your trainers on and go with her to the leisure centre and the park. Tell her that youd like to turn your life around too.

Why cant you exercise together?

You cant blame the guy for doing his job and getting your partner in shape, especially as you encouraged her in the first place.

You were the one who criticised her for putting on weight (your words).

You cant sit and moan if youre not prepared to put in the effort and match her mile for mile.

You must rise to occasion, woo your girl back and prove to her that youre just as thrusting and vital as her instructor. However, if you genuinely feel that she could be cheating, then instigate a heart-to-heart to clear the air rescue your relationship and start again.

Things reached a crucial stage when she failed to return home until the early hours. She must tell you whats really going on. Only then can you decide if you have a future together

Stupid mistake

I recently sent a couple of stupid messages to a girl I used to work with. I was drunk and angry with my new wife over money. Now Im terrified that my ex-colleague is either going to want a fling or is going to report me to the police. So far, she hasnt responded and Im so afraid.

JANE SAYS: Come clean and confess all to your wife. Explain that you were drunk and made a stupid mistake.

It could be that your ex-colleague is choosing to ignore you. Honesty and transparency, along with a sincere apology are vital.

Why are you drinking so much and why are you so angry? Too much alcohol is never an excuse for bad behaviour. Is your marriage in crisis? Discuss this with your wife.

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