• [Dailystar Icon]
• Sport
• Football
• Raheem Sterling

Chelsea 'bomb squad' isn't 'abuse' pampered flops like Sterling don't deserve sympathy

BRENT A GOB: This week, Harry's raging at the suggestion that Raheem Sterling and Axel Disasi are being 'abused' in Chelsea's bomb squad, and at Mikel Arteta for his annoying touchline antics

[Harry Brent]

Our man Harry Brent is furious in his latest column

The outrage around Chelsea leaving Raheem Sterling and Axel Disasi in their 'bomb squad' is about as justifiable as paying 80million for Harry Maguire.

It's nonsense dressed up as indignation, like the folks who reckon a white bloke wearing dreadlocks is a hate crime, or every single copy of the Daily Mail. Sterling and Disasi deserve as much sympathy as Liz Truss does.

Those lettuces have been absolutely dreadful, and after failing to impress the people who pay their salary, they were duly kicked to the curb. But according to the PFA who have shamelessly barged into the equation like the police do whenever a grandmother with six followers retweets a spicy meme, Chelsea's behaviour may constitute "abusive conduct".

What an insult to actual abuse and to actual conduct, for that matter. If lounging about on 325k-a-week in a luxury complex in Surrey counts as abuse, then sign me up for the hydrotherapy package. The waterboarding add-on sounds lovely. I'll pack my trunks.

Both players could have moved on in the summer if they wanted to. But no they didn't fancy taking a pay cut on the massive wages they haven't earned. If anything, Chelsea should be filing complaints against them.

[Axel Disasi and Raheem Sterling in training]

Raheem Sterling and Axel Disasi have been left in Chelsea's 'bomb squad'(Image: Getty Images)

Take Sterling who is, by some distance, the highest-paid player at the club for example. He threw a hissy fit after being dropped on the opening day last season, then stank it up at Arsenal to prove, like Manchester United do every year, that he doesn't belong at the top anymore.

Why are so may modern footballers unable to handle criticism, hardship, or even simple inconvenience, without people dressing it up as some sort of humanitarian crisis?

Let's be clear: Chelsea aren't the villains here. The villains are the people coming out with this claptrap.

Stop being a d***, Mick

Mikel Arteta is the human equivalent of a car alarm at 3am loud, intrusive and usually causing a commotion for no bloody reason. Like a wasp in a beer garden, or Jermaine Jenas on commentary, being a colossal irritant is just baked into his DNA.

The bloke has more annoying, attention-seeking habits than Rio Ferdinand and Katie Hopkins combined, but nothing nothing winds me up more than his pathological refusal to stay inside the technical area during matches.

[Mikel Arteta standing on the touchline during a game]

Mikel Arteta constantly stands well beyond the technical area during games(Image: Getty)

He clings to the touchline like a wired-up stockbroker pacing erratically, barking incoherently, and looking ready to go into withdrawal the second he steps away from the chalk.

Why, precisely, does he think the rules don't apply to him? He's awfully entitled for someone whose managerial trophy cabinet is no fuller than Tony Mowbray's.

His behaviour, by the way, isn't passion. It's pure, unadulterated ego the kind Jude Bellingham displays whenever he scores a tap-in. Pre-season summed it up best. Against Tottenham, he stood in Pedro Porro's way while the Spaniard was waiting to take a throw-in.

Porro, realising Arteta's inflated sense of self-importance and lack of self-awareness had reached Prince Harry levels, gave him a shove.

Arteta looked horrified, as if he'd just been told the concrete sealant he seemingly uses for hair gel had sold out despite, like Eni Aluko in almost every situation, being firmly in the wrong.

What is standing a couple of inches further forward going to achieve anyway, other than radiate serious small-d*** energy? As I keep telling the missus: if you're good at what you do, inches are irrelevant.

[Harry Brent]

Harry Brent

Harry Brent is a journalist, broadcaster and columnist who joined Reach PLC in 2021. He specialises in football and opinion writing and is the architect of the Daily Star's notorious weekly column, 'Brent a Gob'. Known for his irreverent, sharp-witted, and often polarising takes, he has carved out a unique space in sports media. When he isn't "gobbing off" in print, he's hosting Mirror Football's 'Make Football Great Again' podcast.

[Dailystar Icon]

ENJOYED THIS STORY?

Choose Daily Star as a 'Preferred Source' on Google News for quick access to the news you value.